Just dropping in to say this blog will be on hiatus for 2012. I may pop in from time to time but for the most part I won’t be here. I’ll still be updating my music blog, adamipodreviews.blogspot.com with new music when I get some.

Here’s hoping for a great year…

Catherine – I was definitely hooked on the concept for this game. I loved the graphics and how unique everything was. My problem was the difficulty. Good grief, I just don’t have the time, patience, or energy for this type of stuff anymore. Imagine playing Tetris – only somebody has a gun to your head and if you don’t make enough lines they pull the trigger. Not to mention these block puzzles are TOUGH. I much preferred the RPG relationship sections. I would have much rather skipped the block puzzles all together.

Shadows of the Damned - Now this was a fun game. A lot of critics knocked it for being a bit of a throwback in terms of gameplay. It’s probably a valid criticism, but that’s what I liked about it. It was simple – shoot demons with a variety of strange weapons. There weren’t any silly doohickeys to find or any multiplayer to pretend to care about. It was just a fun game. The humor was vulgar and over-the-top but since the game didn’t take itself too seriously I wasn’t offended, I was amused.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution - I really wanted to get into this game. I really did. The concept was certainly interesting enough and the world was detailed enough. It’s the gameplay that pissed me off. If I’m supposed to be a transhuman super agent then why am I as durable as a wet paper bag? Why do my arms need battery power? Also, my experience proved that if you’re trying to sneak through a section and you’re discovered – it’s probably best just to start over. Ugh. If I’m supposed to be a transhuman then, dang it, I want to be TOUGH.

Gears of War 3 - I liked Gears 2 and Gears 3 didn’t disappoint but it didn’t really wow me either. I liked that the story was finally explained (for the most part) and wrapped up in a satisfying way. I don’t have much more to say since I don’t really do multiplayer. It was fun, but not amazing or anything.

Dark Souls - All I have to says is: screw this game. Way too hard. Some people like that. Heck, I used to like it back before I had a job, a wife, and a child. Now it’s just a pain. I’ve heard interesting things about how Xbox Live was integrated and it sounded cool but I got frustrated and quit before I got to experience any of that stuff.

Dead Island - This one was alright. The gameplay was solid, it had a HUGE world to explore, a cool weapon-building mechanic. I played it for quite a while but eventually I got tired of it. No particular reason why, I just did. I’m really tired of zombies in general, especially the whole “zombie apocalypse” thing. I may pick this back up again later.

That’s it for now. I’m hoping Santa will drop Batman: Arkham City in my stocking this year so that will keep me occupied for a while. Also looking forward to Mass Effect 3… but that’s not ’til March. *sigh* Tom Petty was right, the waiting really is the hardest part.

Dark Souls is an adventure/RPG where you play a knight (or mage or whatever you create) roaming across the land doing… something. It wasn’t really explained who I was or what I was doing. Oh, and this game is face-punchingly hard. I never even beat the first boss. After a few tries I didn’t even want to try anymore. The controls are stiff and slow. I could never seem to get my character out of harm’s way. My sword slices did very little damage. I was not a knight… I was a pretty, pretty princess.

As a casual gamer I do not understand this kind of game. It reminds me a lot of Dues Ex: Human Revolution which I played a few weeks back. I’m supposed to be some technologically enhanced super agent. The problem was that I could take about as many hits as a newborn in a boxing match and was a durable as a wet paper bag. Oh, and in order to do anything my arms had to have battery power. I COULDN’T USE MY ARMS UNLESS I HAD BATTERY POWER! Why?!

Why do people think we play games? I play games to have fun. If I’m not having fun then I am wasting my time. Dark Souls was almost like an anti-game where everything from accessing menus to fighting battles was a chore. In fact, the only thing that even sort of approached the ballpark of fun was creating my character.

In my opinion a good game should empower the player. I’m not invincible as Commander Shepard, but I can take enough hits that I don’t crumple at the mere sight of my enemies. The controls are such that I always feel like I have control over what’s going on. If I die, I know I can go back and formulate another strategy. Batman: Arkham Asylum is just about perfect. If you play this game, you will be Batman. You will be able to take out multiple thugs. You will be able to swoop from the shadows and string up guards. It’s awesome.

I just cannot do these hardcore games anymore. I play games because I want to be transported to another world and be entertained. I do NOT play them to do the same task over and over again. I do not play them because I want to beat my head against an impossible boss. If I fail I want to have some light at the tunnel – I need victory to be possible without hardcore dedication because I just don’t have the time (or patience). I’ve got a wife, a child, a job. Screw you, Dark Souls I just want to have fun.

The Choir, deplumed – Containing one song from each of The Choir’s albums, deplumed is a fantastic retrospective. It’s an “unplugged” album with just Steve and Derri. It really showcases just how good the band really is. Every song shines. I actually like this better than Burning Like the Midnight Sun.

Star One, Victims of the Modern Age – Victims stands head and shoulders above Star One’s debut in just about every way. Better songs, heavier guitars, awesome vocals (from all performers). It’s just an amazing album no matter how you slice it, especially for us lucky ducks with the deluxe media book.

The Mustard Seeds (all) – A friend introduced me to the Mustard Seeds this year and they’ve fast become one of my favorite bands. They’re sort of a heavier progressive version of PFR or a commercial, poppier version of King’s X. I’ve got all three of their albums and each one is filled with great four-part harmonies, downtuned riffs, and undeniable pop hooks. Do yourself a favor. Go to Amazon.com and type in “the mustard seeds,” then buy whichever album comes up. You will thank me later.

Gama Bomb, Citizen Brain – I suppose you could call this a guilty pleasure. It’s late 80’s/early 90’s thrash all about cool pop culture stuff from that time. It’s an album that puts me in a good mood instantly. How can I not cheer up hearing a thrash song about Final Fight or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Throw in blazing fast riffs and furious face-melting leads and you have one of my top picks!

Petra, Jekyll and Hyde – I’ve never been much of a Petra person. Sure I liked Beyond Belief – who didn’t? After that though…yeah… no so much. I heard through the grapevine that Jekyll and Hyde was supposed to be really heavy. It is. It’s heavy and catchy. If they had been doing this kind of stuff the whole time I probably would have been a lot more interested in them.

Weird Al Yankovic, Alpocalypse (and others) – I rediscovered my love for “Weird Al” this year. I bought his “Essentials” disc, then some of my past favorites, then his new release. Alpocalypse is awesome. It hits that sweet spot with great parodies, funny originals, and the general vibe of the times. Oh, and let it be said (yet again) that “Weird Al” and his band are some of the most underrated musicians ever.

Devin Townsend, Deconstruction/Ghost – Okay, confession time. These albums, being my most anticipated albums of the year, did not dethrone Addicted or Ziltoid as my favorite Devin discs. Of course, they’re still awesome and wonderful. They’re just a little bit more work to listen to. I’m finally getting to the point where I can really appreciate Deconstruction but it can be a hard road to hoe. A friend and I joked about needing naps halfway through.

Harmony,  Chapter II: Aftermath – Harmony is a random band I found while looking for something interesting to get me through until fall. They’re a great progressive/power metal outfit that’s complicated enough to be interesting but remember to include plenty of hooks. Their singer reminds me a little of Michael Sweet (Stryper) which also helps. Great album!

Alice Cooper, Welcome 2 My Nightmare – I don’t have much experience with Alice Cooper and I picked this up on a whim, desperate for something a little different.Alice totally delivered with an eclectic album that’s memorable and creepy. Oddly enough it contains one of the best worship songs I’ve heard in awhile in the form of the lead-off track, “I Am Made of You.”

Grave Robber, You’re All Gonna Die! – As of this writing I have yet to receive my copy of Grave Robber’s newest album (and the instant download they sent didn’t work for me). I’m putting it here anyway because it’s friggin’ Grave Robber and they are awesome. I anticipate listening to this album many, many times during the holidays!

Evanescence, Evanescence – Amy Lee is back! This album is a bit more straight-forward than The Open Door. That’s okay though, I think this one’s got some cool radio hits on here once you can get past the LOUD production. It’s not perfect, but infectious nonetheless.

Was a Pick But I Hate it Now

Panic! At the Disco, Vices and Virtues – I really dug this when we first got it. So what happened? Well, it became my 18 month old daughter’s favorite album. She would fuss in the car, we play this (specifically the song “Ready to Go”) and she’d quiet right down. As a result I’ve heard this album at least a million times by now and I just can’t take anymore!

Disappointments of 2011

Believer, Transhuman – I was really looking forward to this one. I don’t even care that the band isn’t really thrash anymore. However, I DO care that they’re not writing memorable songs. There’s a point at which you can be too experimental and that’s the problem here. Nothing sticks. Nothing. It’s boring on top of that. C’mon guys, I know you hate to “sell out” but how ‘bout giving us another good old fashioned thrash disc. Just for old time’s sake.

Lady Gaga, Born this Way – Ugh! What happened here? I liked Lady Gaga a lot better when she was just some club kid writing dirty pop songs. What happened to the quirky electronica? The big production of Born This Way gets in the way of the songs. It’s not nearly as memorable as The Fame as a result. Oh, and “Born This Way” is just Madonna’s “Express Yourself” slightly rewritten. I like one single song off of this (“Government Hooker” if you’re curious) and that’s about it.

Breakup of D, no Annuls – I was a little sad that Deliverance broke up once again, for what is probably the final time. On the one hand I understand, as Jimmy has reportedly said, “Deliverance had its day.” However, this also means their upcoming album, The Annuls of Subterfuge will not be released! Aww, c’mon guys! *pouty sad face*

Still no new Sixpence – As of this writing there is still no news as to when Sixpence’s new album, Strange Conversation will see the light of day. What’s really sad is that this album has been done for awhile. Here’s hoping 2012 will see its release.

Metallica and Lou Reed – Oh my word. Just… wow… this stuff is terrible. They were showing so much promise with Death Magnetic, then they go and do something like this. There aren’t even words to describe how much I don’t care about this.

Marvel Vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds – I’ve never been a huge fighting game person. This game didn’t change my mind any. It’s definitely colorful and there are a lot of cool characters. However, in the end I always feel like a chimp just slapping at the buttons trying to get my people to do something. I played this for an afternoon and then sent it back. I’m not nearly good enough to play anybody online.

Bulletstorm – This was a fun little “roller-coaster” game with a decidedly Gears of War-esque look about it. Using the “leash” and discovering creative ways to dispatch my enemies was fun. However, I’d forgotten I’d even played this game until I looked at my rental history.

Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare – I quite enjoyed Red Dead Redemption so I thought I’d give this expansion pack a shot. I liked the zombies and mythical creatures. I liked riding around and shooting them. I thought it was awesome how you could find the four horses of the apocalypse.  Unfortunately the mission variation really isn’t there. After I was asked to (yet again) gather friggin’ flowers from all over the countryside I tapped out.

Crysis 2 – Being a sci-fi shooter you’d think I would have loved this. However, Crysis 2 is more Call of Duty than Halo. I hate Call of Duty. My biggest problem was that I couldn’t see anything I was shooting at. It may just be me but I could rarely distinguish my enemies from the backgrounds – especially if they were far away. Worse, when I brought up my gun to aim, the barrel blocked my view! Shooting while aiming was actually harder than shooting from the hip. Ugh! I fiddled with this for an afternoon then sent it back.

Portal 2 –  C’mon now, of course Portal 2 was awesome. The atmosphere and writing were spot on. The puzzles were ingenious. J.K. Simmons steals the show as the founder of Aperture Science (at least I think it’s him). The two player mode was amazing! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Portal 2‘s multiplayer component takes so much communication and cooperation that marriage counselors could use it as therapy. I don’t even know how you would go about playing this online. My friend and I had a tricky time and we were right next to each other. But planning and pulling off some awesome solution that sends both players flying through the air is priceless.

El Shaddai: The Ascension of the Metatron - This is probably the most unusual looking game I’ve ever played. Based on the apocryphal Book of Enoch, the game tells a head-tripping story with head-tripping visuals to match. I was pleased that evil was still evil and good was still good. None of that “it’s all about balance between light and dark” gobbledygook that most games revel in.Unfortunately, the actual game under all of the stunning artwork and storytelling leaves a lot to be desired. It’s frustrating and annoying. Thankfully, checkpoints are everywhere. This isn’t something I’d play all the time, but I recommend a playthrough just because it’s so dang weird.

Alan Wake – Oh my word. I loved this game. Alan Wake is a survival horror game about a man trying to find his wife in a small town. The game generates the sort of foreboding dread I haven’t felt since playing Silent Hill almost a decade ago. The story is told in an episodic format like a television show, which was cool. Honestly, I could not put this one down. It’s been a long time since a game’s story has really hooked me and drew me in, but this one did. It’s the kind of game that you’ll think about long after you put the controller down. I will admit that while the game does change things up throughout the adventure, running through the forest got a little repetitive at times. Still, an amazing game. I highly recommend it!

That’s it for now. I’ll be sending Alan Wake back tomorrow. Now it’s time to play through my PSP games!

Sad yet? Good. Here’s my new lyrics for the first two lines of the chorus. I have several versions. Enjoy!

“If I die young, play some heavy metal. Make it real loud, so it annoys my grandma.”

“If I die young, bury me with Playboys. Open up the pages, so I can see the boobies.”

“If I die young, stuff me like a grizzly. Build a little town, so I look like Godzilla.”

“If I die young, bury me in burlap. Dump me in a ditch – just like Law & Order!”

“If I die young and I become a zombie, shoot me in the head, it’s the only way to stop me.”

See… it’s fun… try and make some of your own!

At work we’ve just started one of those donation programs. You know the ones where the cashier asks whether you want to donate a dollar to some organization. Then you put your name on some paper object (a balloon, a heart, etc.) and they hang it up. Yeah, we’re doing that now. I won’t tell you who or what for so as to retain my anonymity. Not everyone we ask to donate wants to – and you know what? That’s okay. I understand. If you’re curious as to how you should let us down I’ll give two surefire ways:

• “No, thank you.”
• “Um, not right now. Maybe next time, but thanks.”

That’s it. That’s all you have to say. Here’s what not to say:

• “Donate a dollar? Y’all need to give me a dollar!”
• “No, and I’ll tell you why. Because kids just need to eat better. They don’t need any medicine or anything, they just need to eat better and exercise. If they did that there wouldn’t be any diseases.”
• “Donate a dollar!? Donate at dollar! Everyone always wants me to donate something! I give plenty!”
• “You know what burns me up? There are starving people in America with no jobs but they want you to donate to them [nasty word for African-Americans] in Africa! You need to take care of the people at home first! Am I speaking out of turn?”
• “I can’t spare no dollars right now” (Said as I hand you $98 dollars in change)

Seriously, you don’t have to be nasty. I’m not the one taking your dollar and putting it in my pocket. We’re just trying to raise money for charity. If you don’t want to we don’t actually think less of you. In fact, we don’t care. So you really don’t have to lecture us.

Thank you, and good night!

Holy Matrimony, Batman! – 25G

Get married

Porcupines in a Box – 5G

Survive five years of marriage

He’s From Mars, She’s From Venus – 10G

Survive ten years of marriage

An Eternity in Hollywood Years – 15G

Survive fifteen years of marriage

Symbiosis – 25G

Survive twenty-five years of marriage

Truly One Flesh – 50G

Survive fifty years of marriage

‘Til Death Do You Part – 100G

Complete a marriage

I Will Call Him Mini-Me – 25G

Successfully procreate

Empty Nest – 25G

Complete the rearing of all children in household

Sweet Talker – 10G

Romance your way into sex despite your partner not being in the mood

Dutch Oven – 5G

Perform the Dutch Oven/Covered Wagon

500lbs Gorilla – 25G

Remain sleeping in the same bed after losing a fight

Civilized – 20G

Resolve a dispute without name calling

Lean On Me – 30G

Help your spouse through a tough time

Helpy Helperson – 10G

Randomly do a chore you normally don’t do

Unvicious Cycle – 10G

Randomly compliment your spouse

Holly Jolly Christmas – 10G

Erect a Christmas tree (or other holiday display) without fighting

Adding a Little Spice – 10G

Have sex during date night (not after)

C’mon, It’ll Be Fun! – 20G

Introduce your spouse into a hobby they weren’t previously interested in

Tower Defense – 25G

Verbally or physically protect your spouse from an outside threat

Taking One For the Team – 30G

Offer an honest apology for a wrong-doing

Quick Draw McGraw – 10G

Throw a fart in your partner’s face, then escape without being hit

What Are These For? – 10G

Give partner flowers (or appropriate gift) for no reason

You Really DO Love Me! – 20G

Remember 10 consecutive birthdays and anniversaries

It’s a Secret to Everybody – 5G

Share an inside joke

One and Only – 100G

Complete a marriage with no affairs or separations

Yes, I know these don’t add up to 1,000…or maybe they do. I didn’t actually count.